ArsenaL and I went to Metrowalk (home of the Phi Resto Bar) a few months ago. There, we saw this nice little pet shop from afar.

My 13-year-old brain found the sign very amusing, and I turned to ArsenaL and went, "Heh... 'Pussies & Bitches.' Clever."

"No, it's 'Puggies & Bitches,'" he replied in a judgmental "get your mind out of the gutter" tone.

Oh, puggies. That makes sense I guess.

I suddenly felt ashamed. Felt like a total pervert... a pervert with poor eyesight... a pervert with poor eyesight and a filthy mind that can't stop thinking about pussy.

Then we got closer, and guess what? I was right all along. Ha! It's "Pussies & Bitches," bitches! ArsenaL is such a prude... a prude with poor eyesight.

Anyway, props to the shop owner for coming up with a provocative name. I'm sure the parents who take their kids there to shop for pets appreciate it as much as I do.

Speaking of provocative names... anyone wants to guess what's in the Cockhouse?

As the mall's closing time approached, most of its shops were already closed and properly padlocked. This one particular store went with a slightly more exotic security system though.

Sale? 70% off? Meh. One push and it will be 100% off.

Brilliant. Who needs locks when a dirty plastic stool can do the trick? Yay security!

According to a friend's friend, all you have to do is print and present this coupon and you get a regular-sized tea latte free! And he insist that this is not a joke.

Now, while I'm not one to shy away from freebies, I think this one sounds suspicious. It looks like some Catch Me If You Can wannabe's work. Of course, sillier things have turned out to be true, so I've decided to put up a dare to any enterprising spirits out there.

The terms are simple. All you have to do is print the coupon out and present it at any Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf branch.

Possible outcome #1: You actually get a free tea latte. Congratulations! You get a free tea latte. That's your prize.

Possible outcome #2: It's a hoax, and you end up making an ass of yourself. Congratulations! You get a free tea latte. I'll actually buy you one. How to claim your prize? Just email a photo of your attempt to philos [at] chickenmafia [dot] com on or before July 31, 2008. Include the barista in the picture and also tell us the branch so we can confirm that it really did happen.

UPDATE! It's true!

Location is very important for businesses, especially ones that rely heavily on reputation.

Oh look, it's the Jollibee Law Office!

If you're a law firm, having your office right beside a cheap fast-food restaurant doesn't exactly scream prestige. It's more like the opposite of that actually.

But I guess it can be quite convenient for us consumers. Found a dead mouse in your burger? No problem! Just run to the law office next door and file a lawsuit!

Also, it's not often that you have law school graduates and law school dropouts working side by side, albeit separated by a wall.

Chinese restavrants have the strangest condiments.

Found this while going through some old pictures from Japan.

"Football"? Um, I think the proper term is "socerr."

Let's all play teniss and socerr! Yay!

Cats may look intelligent--ancient Egyptians who worshipped them as gods probably thought so--but looks can be deceiving. In my experience, cats are really stupid stupid creatures, especially when it comes to avoiding cars. Most of the roadkill I've seen on the roads of Metro Manila are cats.

Dogs get hit by cars too sometimes, but at least they try their best to scamper across streets quickly. Cats don't. They prefer leisurely strolls. Occasionally, they'd even stop and take a nap right in the middle of the road... like this one did on a lazy afternoon last week.

I almost ran over the little thing. I had to slam on my brakes and bring the car to a stop a few feet away from its sleepy head. The screech startled it and woke it up from its nap, but it just stared at me and showed absolutely no intention to leave.

I couldn't go around it because some genius decided to park his truck on one side of the already narrow street. So I flashed my headlights and honked the horn a few times. Of course that didn't work.

Desperate and more than a bit annoyed, I got out of the car, charged towards the cat, and barked. Yes, barked. "Arf! Arf!" Good thing there wasn't anyone around to see me acting like a complete retard.

The little monster finally got up and walked away very slowly, pausing every few steps to stare at me with utter contempt. I stared back. Ah, there's nothing like a little afternoon confrontation to remind me how much I hate cats.

I still love lolcats though.

So I obediently stayed within the yellow box, and... nothing happened.

Well, the people behind me got very annoyed, but aside from that, nothing happened.

Maybe I should learn to think outside the box.

If you watch Philippine TV, you must have seen the new Coke ad that features a pretty angel. Those of us who don't can always turn to YouTube.

(Click here if you're interested in behind-the-scene stuff.)

It's definitely one of the best and most visually stunning Philippine TV ads that I've ever seen. But I hate it. Well, I loved it until last week. That was when NBA.com showed the freaking ad before every video clip. Have you ever played your favorite song for 30 times straight and ended up hating it so much that you want to stab the next person you see? Yeah....

I now loathe the ad with every fiber of my being, and I never want to see it again... ever. I didn't even check if I embedded the right YouTube video up there. It can be the wrong video for I all know. Maybe it's Japanese octopus porn. Japanese vomit porn. Or Japanese poop porn. I don't give a shit. You can't make me click the play button. You can't!

Unlike me, my buddy Philos hated the ad from the very start. Why? Because it offends his delicate religious sensitivities. In fact, he's boycotting all Coca-Cola products. (Oh no! How will the company survive?)

Now all you Philos fans know why he wasn't at the Coke Zero event two weeks ago.

So what part of the ad did he find offensive? Here's his explanation:

The presumption that an ethereal being will choose mortality for such a base reason is an affront to my ecclesiastical sensibilities. Even more so the presumption that a demon can forgo damnation by choosing Coke. An exceedingly, I hope you'll agree with me, preposterous claim.

Do you understand now? I still don't. Sure, I got his point, but his point seems... pointless. I think he has had too much Jesus juice. And I suspect that most Christians, even the conservative ones, wouldn't mind the Coke angel/demon ad that much. Am I wrong?

If you're a Christian, I really want to hear your take on this. Let's have a discussion/debate/flamewar... put the fun back into fundamentalism!

Most of you probably know that I'm not the most politically correct guy around. But this one really makes me mad.

What? Why must an ice cream scooper be younger than 25? That's age discrimination! Listen, I may be getting old, but I still can scoop ice cream as efficiently as any of you disrespectful young fools can. How dare you take away my opportunity of being the best professional ice cream scooper that I can be? Jerks.

Oh well, I guess that's one less career option for me. Growing old sucks.