At our house, we're all assigned a specific day to prepare dinner. I cook on Wednesdays. As a member of the Chicken Crime Family, I have to make it look good. It can't just be the usual out-of-the-can experience. I feel it has to be gourmet (or as close to it as I can manage.)

Most Wednesdays, I try to prepare something special, or at least something strange. I try to keep it a surprise until right before they have to eat it. And surprised they are once they do have to eat--whether it's going to be a pleasant or awful surprise, only God can tell. Yes, that's right. Even I who prepare these things can't say for sure.

It is said that not even the best intentions will make things turn out great. And so it was with the dinner I prepared. I had this vision of a healthy scrumptious meal of Lomi* and something called Barbecue-Tofu Sandwich.

It's suppose to be really good--at least that was what the recipe review said. As it turned out, the tofu burns easily. And the Lomi? Found out that you have to soak it first to remove the anti-caking agent. You know how the anti-caking agent tastes? Bitter. As in down on your luck, punch in the face, knock your teeth out and squeeze your balls bitter. Needless to say, we had to flush the lomi, and eat the tofu with our eyes closed. At least nobody had a Wet Side Story 2.

I had to give them chocolates afterwards "to take the pain away." Well, there's always next Wednesday. Any suggestions?

*Lomi Soup - Chinese thick noodle soup, usually yummy