Anybody ever had a phone pal before? There was a time I had quite a few of them. Well, they were really textmates. I got bored texting so we used the phone instead. Ok, ok, so you might be wondering why on earth I'd want a phonepal? Up until I was 18, we didn't have a phone, so when we finally did, let's just say I had a lot of catching up to do.

Now this is going to sound strange coming from me, but I'm supposed to have this "sexy voice." Don't ask me what's a sexy voice like. I tried listening to myself on tape, and I do not sound sexy... but as it happened, a lot of those phone pals seemed to think so. But boy did I get a lot of weirdos!

There was this one who must've liked me. It's kinda hard to explain.... Anyway, here is how our last conversation went. One time she called me, then at some point, she excuses herself, gave the phone to her cousin for me to talk to. Her cousin said, amidst her whispered prodding in the background, "What do you look for in ladies? What do you think of my cousin? Do you like my cousin?" After discussing my pet peeves for a full 10 minutes, she went back on and apologizes for taking too long. Said she went upstairs to do some cross stitch. Imagine that! "I'm sorry dear, my OC's acting up... I need to cross-stitch..." A cross stitch emergency!

Then there was this one who insisted on us becoming a couple. Said she did not care what I look like. She thought she loves me, and that we "totally click." Oh, and did I mention that this was the first time we spoke to each other? Needless to say, I never talked to her again.

I talked to somebody from Boracay. This one swore she'd commit suicide when I told her we can't continue our conversations anymore... she cried all the time and I don't know why... that was some scary shit!

Talking about scary, there was this time when the sweet girl I talked to turned out to be a he. In fairness, "he" sounded a lot like a she, and "he" was really sweet... I shudder just thinking about it. It's a good thing we ended up having a lot of common friends.

"Hey, you know Denise?"

"You mean Dennis right? I hear he went straight."

If you only knew.

And this is why I'm not so fond of phones anymore. Next time I'll tell you about the weirdos I met.