On my flight home last night, I got upgraded to business class. Sweet. It felt satisfying to get the same perks as the fools who paid through their noses for expensive business class tickets.

The major difference between business class and economy class is that, in business class, you get a bigger seat and a better meal. And we did have a pretty good meal... pasta, fruits, and a piece of cheesecake. Sure beats the lousy sandwich that I got in economy class a few days ago.

A heavy pile of metal utensils came with the tray: a spoon, two forks, and two knives. Wait... two freaking metal knives? I wasn't even sure that I needed the knives. Pasta and cheesecakes don't usually require sharp metal implements to cut through.

I've heard somewhere that, since 9/11, plastic knives have become the norm on planes. Apparently, some Asian airlines didn't get the memo.

It doesn't make sense at all. They don't allow you to carry a Swiss knife or a nail clipper on the plane, but as soon as you're seated, they hand you two sharp metal knives. Why?

Stupid terrorists put bombs in their shoes... very uncomfortable. Smart terrorists fly business class.

I wonder what the rich bastards in first class got. Chainsaws perhaps? Yeah, probably chainsaws. Lucky bastards.