I know that managers generally aren't the brightest creatures, but for heaven's sake, if you're going to put up a giant "employee of the month" board, shouldn't you at least consider using it?

All our employees are worthless pieces of poop--all year round!

That picture was taken in my favorite cheap-ass computer store. The employees there seem to be friendly, and I don't think they spit on the stuff I buy, so I'm not sure what the problem is. Hey management, are they simply not good enough for you? What would it take to win the precious Employee of the Month trophy? Wait, is there even a trophy?

Nice job motivating your employees, heh.