Skip navigation.
Home
We're the Chicken Mafia. Chickens of the world, unite!

Scientology: sino si Xenu?

philos's picture

The name "Xenu" is often thrown around by people poking fun at Scientology. Hail Xenu! Free Xenu! What would Xenu do? You might have even seen the name mentioned more than once on this site.

But who is Xenu? (In Filipino, sino si Xenu?) And, for that matter, what is Scientology?

Operation Clambake (Xenu.net) probably has all the information you need, including the whole Xenu story. But if you are lazy, you can always rely on South Park for a little education.

 

It all makes sense now, doesn't it?

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
carnifex's picture

Last time I checked, ...

Mormons believe in some huge pile of shit as well. Are we going to have mormon bashing week anytime in the future? PWEESE? :-)

Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight

joyfulchicken's picture

Oh, right, those quirky Mormons

They have a funny religion too. But are the mainstream religions really any less ridiculous? >:)

Flame war starts in 3, 2, 1....

how about the christians.. they got a funny religion too?

there goes my afterlife!

joyfulchicken's picture

All religions are funny to me

Then again, I'm the guy who thinks that poop is funny, so there's no reason for anyone to take me seriously.

joyfulchicken's picture

I chose not to link

to that one because it's embarrassingly corny. But I should have known that you'd dig it up anyway :-P

joyfulchicken's picture

Of course it is :-P

Yay for corniness.

carnifex's picture

We might bash Christianity while we're at it

But I am afraid a certain second-most-blogging person would leave ChickenMafia because of feeling deeply offended :-/

Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight

joyfulchicken's picture

Yeah

Besides, it's Scientology Week. Focus, people. Focus.

joyfulchicken's picture

True

So many religions to bash, and so little time....

=P

..and nobody's talked about Xenu yet :P

joyfulchicken's picture

Hmm

Maybe the kids here thought that Xenu is like Voldermort--He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

neko-chan's picture

So then...

do they scientologists hate Xenu? Or is Xenu like God or something?

joyfulchicken's picture

Hmm, I'm not sure

I guess Xenu would be like the Devil or something.

joyfulchicken's picture

And do Scientologists even have a god

or do they just worship Tom Cruise? Damn it. There's so much that I don't know.

neko-chan's picture

Hoh!

Xenu is satan!

joyfulchicken's picture

An alien Satan

Yay!

philos's picture

I didn't know that

Catinamosh was religious... he does swear a lot, maybe he is.

joyfulchicken's picture

You just called him religious? :-O

Be thankful that he probably won't see your comment. If he ever does, you're in trouble :-P

philos's picture

Well Carney did mention the second most blogging person here

And according to our eggs its macintosh hehe

joyfulchicken's picture

Interesting

So he had more entries than you have despite his short stay here? Shame on you :-P

carnifex's picture

Make that...

...second most blogging person in recent times :-P We're not talking Antics or Medieval here :-P

Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight

Did i just read...

...something in Filipino?

I thought this mafia catered to an international audience. lol

@carnifex do ya want a translation of the title? heheh

Where do your gonads want to go today?

joyfulchicken's picture

Oh, right, international audience

There. Happy now? :-P

Now your Korean friends will be able to understand everything. Yay!

For real?

Seriously? COS? Xenu?

Southpark rules!!!!!! =p

joyfulchicken's picture

Yes, South Park is the best

And yes, they got the facts pretty much straight with this one.

So...

...enlightening~~ :P

joyfulchicken's picture

Well,

chickenmafia.com has always been an educational website, heh.

philos's picture

Feel free to refer to me as

Dr Philos hehe...

Xenu sya?

if that video is factual. that is so *ucking crazy. is there any other (famous) people? that are into Scientology? what about here in the Philippines?

philos's picture

Haha

David Pomeranz? Real Filipinos ought to be smart enough to waste cash on trash... we do what we do best, imitate hehe... expect an Iglesia of Scientolohiya soon :p

joyfulchicken's picture

There are supposedly

only around 50 Scientologists in the Philippines.

There are lots of them in Hollywood though. Here's a list :-D

Les Kitty's picture

John Travolta has a wife?!

I thought he was gay.

Hmm... I already know that gay people can have wives :P

joyfulchicken's picture

According to rumors....

wait, can't have rumors here. I don't want to get sued :-(

Les Kitty's picture

But... But!

joyfulchicken's picture

Aaaah!

My eyes! :-(

Les Kitty's picture

Hey! It wasn't THAT bad

I actually thought it was sort of cute!

carnifex's picture

CUTE???

joyfulchicken's picture

Maybe it's similar to

how guys like lesbian porn, heh.

neko-chan's picture

Wow Carney

That was quite a reaction. Your gay level just went escalating down. Sorry Tiffy, I had to say this since you didn't say anything.

joyfulchicken's picture

I disagree

Exaggerated homophobia can be an indicator of closeted gayness :-D Yay!

carnifex's picture

Closeted?

Whoa, I don't closet anything :-P I'm just not that much of a gay to enjoy two kind of ugly looking dudes kissing :-/

Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight

joyfulchicken's picture

Fine

But the Kitty is the one who gets to decide your percentage anyway.

Les Kitty's picture

Actually,

I knew deep down inside that he was mad cause Travolta over there wasn't kissing him.

I was trying to repress the urge to sell him out. But since Neko is bewildered about my lack of response, there we go!

carnifex's picture

Travolta is simply not handsome :-/

philos's picture

I'm sorry neko

Just can't help pointing this out... Err, how does anything escalate down?

joyfulchicken's picture

Yay!

Captain Know-It-All strikes again! :-P

philos's picture

I knew you'd say something like this

How utterly predictable.

neko-chan's picture

If you can fall up the stairs

You sure can escalate down :)

Les Kitty's picture

Hahaha

Of course it didn't escalate down!

Au contraire, it's not 12% :3

carnifex's picture

What do you know...

Kitty has thought expression problems :-P I'd even say she's 1% illiterate :-P

Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight

joyfulchicken's picture

She is?

Oh good. I thought I was 1% confused.

Les Kitty's picture

You were trying to be funny, right?

Well, trying, really.

neko-chan's picture

What!

Francis from Malcolm in the middle? Elvis' wife and daughter? Oh come on. If you don't want you money, give it to me. Join the Neko religion.

By the way, I don't know exactly how expensive is the religion. JC only said expensive.

joyfulchicken's picture

We'll tackle the price

on Day 7... I hope. Wow, we're halfway through Scientology Week. How time flies....

Les Kitty's picture

Why not just say fuck and be done with it

Fucking crazy!

joyfulchicken's picture

But... but....

there are children watching!

OK, there aren't. Cuss all you want :-P

neko-chan's picture

Wow Tiffy

I didn't know you use the f word.

joyfulchicken's picture

You didn't know?

She was the one who came up with "fuckity fuck fuck," remember? :-D

neko-chan's picture

But

fuckity fuck fuck makes it sound kiddie. (And yea I forgot about it. At least I didn't think of it right away)

joyfulchicken's picture

Well, the kid

swears like a sailor :-D

neko-chan's picture

Hahahah!

She's gonna swear when she sees this :P

carnifex's picture

Realy?

Seems more like "talks in a manner that would make even a sailor ashamed" to me :-P

Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight

joyfulchicken's picture

Whoa whoa whoa

You're straying into dangerous territory here. Watch it. Don't make the Kitty angry :-P

philos's picture

If we all hate swearing so much

Then why do we keep saying Tom Cruise?

joyfulchicken's picture

What the fuck are you talking about

Who hates swearing?

philos's picture

Ohh...

I was just Cruising around...

Les Kitty's picture

I think you did that on purpose!

To build up to using this pun. :-/

joyfulchicken's picture

What can I say

The guy loves his puns. He's a pundit :-D

Les Kitty's picture

If that's supposed to be a pun,

I didn't get it either.

philos's picture

What can I say?

I'll take that as a compliment hehe

joyfulchicken's picture

Trust me,

it's not a compliment :-P

neko-chan's picture

Haha!

JC is using the f word! Yay! I'm still used to reading it from you yet :P

joyfulchicken's picture

I swear a lot in real life

So I try not to when I'm blogging. Yay for balance :-D

Les Kitty's picture

Yeah

Especially when you drive. Yay.

joyfulchicken's picture

I do?

Fuck :-(

neko-chan's picture

Good

I thought I'm the only one with no patience behind the wheel

joyfulchicken's picture

Yay!

Hotheaded drivers of the world, unite!

Les Kitty's picture

Really?

How can you say?

Can you even spell? :/

Les Kitty's picture

Really?

Around you guys I've just said, "shit." And it isn't even often.

You must be exaggerating. Yay!

joyfulchicken's picture

I only said that you swear like a sailor

Not all sailors swear a lot, you know :-P

philos's picture

Popeye sure doesn't

Unless you count shiver me timbers... they just have poor grammar hehe

Les Kitty's picture

But I

have excellent grammar.

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <p> <br> <a> <img> <embed> <object> <param> <big> <small> <b> <i> <u> <s> <sub> <sup> <hr> <h1> <h2> <h3> <h4> <h5> <h6> <h7> <pre> <tt> <em> <strong> <blockquote> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <table> <th> <tr> <td>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
Prove that you're not a spamming bot, anonymous chicken.
5 + 3 =
Solve this simple math problem and enter the result. E.g. for 1+3, enter 4.