Punch-Out!!

Remember the Nintendo Family Computer? It was so much fun, especially when you had to redo a stage thirty times because there's no way to save your game.

One of my favorite Famicom games is Punch-Out!! And since I'm a wannabe casting director, here's my take on what the cast should look like if they ever make a Punch-Out!! movie.

Doc Louis and Little Mac = Stanley from The Office and David Archuleta

You may think that Archuleta is too girly to be believable as a boxing star, but a boxing movie with homesexual undertones could mean critical acclaim.

Glass Joe = Owen Wilson

Same nose.

Von Kaiser = Borat

Same mustache.

Piston Honda = Bolo Yeung

I’m sure you saw this one coming. Guess what? Bolo is 70 years old right now. No kidding.

Don Flamenco = Manu Ginobili

He looks like Adam Sandler too, but getting Manu would be a lot cheaper.

King Hippo = a white gorilla

We've got to have an animal in the cast. Kids like movies with animals.

Great Tiger = Apu and Hobbes

I patted myself on the back with this one.

Soda Popinski = Stone Cold

Although I think Stone Cold usually drinks something stronger than soda pop.

Bald Bull = Charles Barkley

Because they're both bald.

Mr. Sandman = Cedric the Entertainer

I think Cedric pulls off the fighting pose well enough.

Mr. Macho Man = some actor named Sam Elliot

Underneath that grizzled and wrinkled exterior is a grizzled and wrinkled body.

Mike Tyson = 50 Cent

Coincidentally, Mike Tyson's bank account has about 50 cents left in it.