My shitty Valentine
Ever heard of a fish called gindara? I've never tried it before, but the opportunity presented itself last week, one day before Valentine's Day. The food bazaar at work was serving it, so with the kind of curiosity we chicken mafiosos are known for, I chose the gindara steak for lunch.
Overall, it was a very satisfying meal. I got a good-sized portion of its belly. Now, I should mention that another nickname of this fish is "butterfish" as it seemingly melts in your mouth with each bite. Little did I know what this fish had in store for me the following day.
I woke up with a severe urge to get to the toilet. My first bowel movement was loose, and I initially thought it was just diarrhea. However, the oil I had to clean off my butt foreshadowed something infinitely more sinister.
It was such a difficult mess I landed myself in. The oil wouldn't wash off with just regular soap, and I had to resort to dishwashing liquid. Throughout the entire workday, I had to go six times, each time incoveniently right in the middle of my patient management. And worse, I had to wash my undies in the middle of the day at work because I kept farting out oily stuff. Needless to say, it was not a happy Valentine.
The popular "local gindara" sold here in the Philippines is actually escolar. The fish is touted as the cheaper alternative to Xenical®, a diet drug that helps you lose weight by preventing absorption of fats in your diet and thus decreasing caloric intake despite consumption of fatty foods. The side effect? You release the fat you've ingested unchanged, in its oil form, which results in oily stool, loose bowel, and frequent, oily flatulence. And since oil is a lubricant, it's hard to resist defecating once the urge comes.
Gindara produces the same side effects as Xenical, but whether it has the same primary effect is debatable. It is said that gindara contains a type of fat that can't be digested by the body and thus remains unchanged upon excretion, producing the same irritating side effects. This would mean however that the effects are limited only to the fat you ingested via this fish.
For me, the effects wore off eventually. I just ate too much--the unwanted side effects could have been avoided if I consumed less than the supposed safe limit of 6 oz. So it seems that I'm still allowed to eat a little gindara occasionally. But for now, I think I'm sticking with the fats of the porky and beefy variety.
Hahaha!
This has got to be your best blog entry ever. Nothing is more entertaining than oily farts and uncontrollable diarrhea.
I'd have to say that
I agree...and it reminded me so much of this one story I read on the Internet about someone eating chips or something... She/he had the same problem, only, with the way it was described... That person's case of "oily farts" might've been a lot worse. Heh, heh.
--
Boom.
What the hell?
How much chips do you have to eat before you start farting oil? Hmm.
I wonder
...how much oil do you need to fart to be announced as a member of the Axis of Evil, to be bombed by U.S. fighters and to have an oil rig in your ass pumping that precious oil from ya after having a democratic government installed.
Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight | http://carnifex.blog.com
Hmm, I don't know
Hey Philos, how many barrels of oil did you fart out?
You really had to describe everything eh?
Oily farts! And you had to use dishwashing liquid? Haha, i'm just imagining how it'd be. Dishwashing liquid don't fit very well in toilets. Oily farts! I'm lost for words.
No gindara for me, that's for sure.
I
actually kinda feel bad about wat happend but hey shit happens, (no pun intended, no disrepsct man)
I know its an embarassing episode but i just gotta ask, how did u wash ur underwear in the middle of the day? i mean there's gotta be some traffic goin in and out of the toilet, unless u lock the door and throw away the key....
anywayz, valentines is over-rated and every day should be a valentines if u are in-lub. ehe, ehe
in-lub
...or in-lube, eh?
Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight | http://carnifex.blog.com
I was going to call this
My Funny Valentine, but I just didn't feel it was funny from my perspective.
We have our own toilet, just for the few of us, and man those oily farts sure drove them away =Þ
Hello You have a fantastic
Hello
You have a fantastic Blog . Keep up the hard work!!
I was looking for ways to improve my Blog and I found your blog searching on Blog Hop . I really enjoyed reading your Blog, in fact i let you on a good resource, If you want thousands of others to see your blog for free, submit it to http://www.autosurfmonster.com .. I send you warm regards and wish you continued success.
Jessica
Hey JC
Check this out! Some one actually liking my blog!
I'm sure you've earned quite a few anonymous fans
after this. Diarrhea is always a fan favorite topic here, heh.
So you were wearing wet undies?
I acually thought you drank xenical when I read about what happened. And I just found out that gindara has that effect on people--cool! I love gindara.
But I don't eat a lot so... Tough luck.
I managed to dry it
By hanging it at the back of our refrigerator. Trust me, you don't want to eat a lot hehe... and besides, it doesn't work like Xenical, it only keeps you from absorbing the fats in the fish. And you're so slim, I don't see why you'd need that hehe...
Back of the fridge = dirt
I'm surprised you didn't contract some kind of a disease :|
Oh.
Not slim. Chubby.
But...
Disclaimer: Women generally have more fat cause they need it for childbirth.
Oh the joy of PE1.
Hmm
"Disclaimer: Women generally have more fat cause they need it for childbirth."
So why do some women get so angry when I ask them how long they've been pregnant?
Probably cause you look like a hitman
No?
I look like a nice guy now :-P
I no longer have the evil mustache.
No you don't
You got it all mixed up. For Chinese, mustache and beard=wisdom, and the lack of any recognizable facial hair means either your gay or your up to no good.
Beard = wisdom, yes
But mustaches are always evil.
Gay is good
I like gay
So JC is gay now?
Whoa...
I hate gays.
Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight | http://carnifex.blog.com
I thought you're gay?
I understand now. Psych concepts totally make sense now.
Self destruction shizzy :)
Self destruction shizzy?
That's a psych term?
Shizzy is a word I invented
Hmm...
Sounds like
something Snoop Dogg would say :-P
Me? Gay???
Never!!! I'm 99% straight.
Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight | http://carnifex.blog.com
The 1% is rearing its ugly head
Can you feel it?
Uh....
Rearing? Head?
Pervert :-/
Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight | http://carnifex.blog.com
Oh, you mean Chicky?
Yeah :) We know.
I mean you and your sexual innuendos...
...about rear and heads...
Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight | http://carnifex.blog.com
Oh, then it's you?
We know your little fetishes :)
That explains why
I love getting in touch with my feminine side.
Oh shit....
Runs to the toilet and worships the sewer god for five minutes
Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight | http://carnifex.blog.com
In other words,
you're getting in touch with your bulimic feminine side, hehe.
I doubt that was Gindara you
I doubt that was Gindara you had. Gindara isn't as oily as you described, and is pretty safe to eat in large quantities.
I think you had Kingklip. Deep sea fish, oily as hell, and several people I know (including myself) have had the oily fart syndrome after consumption.
And the oil smells really, really bad. No amount of liquid handsoap can wash away that unholy stench once it gets on your undies.
Oh yeah
What Philos had wasn't real gindara. We locals just call it that. Not much enforcement of truth-in-advertising laws in this part of the world :-D
Yep
It was Escolar. And I had to use dishwashing liquid.
Gindara
Had that the same experience when I was in Negros. You can buy it there fresh and it's cheap. Like P180/kilo. I never had to use the dishwashing liquid though...
Hmm
P180 for a kilo of diarrhea? Sounds like a good deal to me :-D
P180
Can buy a Hello Kitty ring. (Yes the one you put in your finger)
Hmm,
diarrhea or Hello Kitty ring? I'm not sure which one is the crappier choice :-D
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I'm not sure too :P ROTFL!
OMG.. so we are not alone..
OMG.. so we are not alone.. my wife and i just had the same experience just today after eating grilled gindara last night for the FIRST TIME.. so I thought of searching the internet and walah!
Wow,
we're #1 on Google for "gindara diarrhea" :-D I feel so proud.
Now CM
is a health site. Go get a HoN logo :)
I know what a ho is,
but what's a HoN?
The one you don't have to
pay for :p
You mean
the one you don't have to pay for directly? :-P
Philos
are you serious?
Errr...
Serious about what?
By saying
'the one you don't have to pay for'
Errr...
Do you not get the joke?
Uh oh
Uh oh.
Me...
...either :-P
_____
My new blog (even I don't know why I need it)
Inasmuch as I hate having to explain my witty one liner...
HoN (Hon) as in honey as opposed to Ho (hoe) as in whore.
If you have to explain,
it's not witty :-P
Ahh I see
So you don't have to pay for that. Right.
You don't have to pay for your wife?
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Intelligent design is the only claim I've heard that is sillier.
_____
My new blog (even I don't know why I need it)
Prenup, kids,
prenup.
Welcome to the club
(Yep, I'm actually starting a club now that there's a dozen of us. Drop us a line.)
You guys are getting more and more incoherent everyday
No shit.
Whee
pizza cookies whee!
Joy to the worl... errr... SHIT
I just had my "gindara" yesterday and wow my oily fart went right through my undies+trousers! I just had the evil fart this morning.
Hehe
I should really try gindara one of these days. Sounds like so much fun.
Haha
You do that. Should be really funny. Can't wait for the entry :P
On second thought, nah
It's one of those things that's only funny when it happens to someone else >:)
dood...i share your
dood...i share your pain,..haha...first time i ate gindara was during my highschool...i farted and my khaki pants went dark...haha...but i cant stop eating gindara...yummy...booo for xenical..yay for gindara! ahaha.
Khaki huh
No wonder you don't have to stop. Khaki pants are already poop-colored anyway :-D
Ouch dude, that is pretty
Ouch dude, that is pretty harsh. I am really suprised you didn't get as sick as you did. Now I will have to watch what I eat when I travel to another nation. Thanks for the headsup.
Thank goodness i found this
Thank goodness i found this site!
I consumed 2 medium sized ginadara 2 days ago. And i had fart oils last night and still having right now. It was fun at first, seeing those oil in the toilet. All along i thought it was over, when i got in our office this morning, a sudden gush of fart oil came out, to make it worse, there was a sound brrrroooot. Good thing i was alone in our area. I rushed down to the convenience store to buy pantyliners and i am wearing it now positioned in my butthole.
Yikes
Gindara claims another victim!
Since the so-called victim admited
The he found the sight of oily shit in the toilet funny, I imagine that's just you posting something to boost the activity of this site. A mild case of schizophrenia maybe :-)
_____
My dead blog is dead since I hate blogging and I lead the most boring life ever.
Oh yeah,
because I'm the only person in the world who finds diarrhea funny?
Pretty much
Yeah :-)
_____
My dead blog is dead since I hate blogging and I lead the most boring life ever.
Might be a woman
Only a woman would think of buying panty liners and positioning it on her ass hole. Let us all remember what Philos did.
Let the Foodistas Guide YOU.
Haha, good point
Damn you women and your creative problem solving with panty liners.
This is the most referred blog post
ever.
That's because
potty humor is always funny.
Post new comment