Jesus' birthday party

I attended a company Christmas party last week.

I hate company parties. They are always awkward and boring. And I didn't expect this one to be any different. Actually, I expected it to be real bad since I had to wake up early for it. 10 AM? What kind of party starts at 10 AM?

As I walked in, someone handed me a program. It had a lot of words printed on it--14 items in all. I was dismayed to find out that the only item that I cared about, lunch, was at #10. What? There are 9 other things that I have to sit through before I get to eat? Bummer.

Item #8 was a "gay fashion show contest." What better way to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ than a party that has an opening prayer, a closing prayer, and a gay fashion show in between? And I though God hates gays. Well, maybe he's learning to be less homophobic. You've got to give him credit for that.

At least the gay fashion show was mildly entertaining. The song contest before that... Jesus Christ. I was asked to be a judge for that contest, and good thing I declined. I would have gone all Simon Cowell on them. The contestants weren't singing. They were screaming into the microphone. Apparently, someone forgot to explain to them that the purpose of the microphone is to eliminate the need to scream.

After sitting through all that crap, I finally got to eat. The food was not bad. The central attraction was a lechon baka (roast calf). I was lucky enough to see a waiter pulling the calf's eyeballs out. That really made my day.

Happy birthday, Jesus.