Indestructible fireproof mutant ants

Life is unpredictable. One can learn about totally useless facts at totally unexpected moments. I sure learned something today.

For dinner earlier this evening, I threw some Christmas party leftovers on a plate, covered it, pushed it into the microwave oven, closed the door, and set the timer to 3 minutes--all pretty standard procedure. But as the light inside the oven came on, I saw that the cover I used had at least a dozen ants crawling on it. Oops.

I thought about stopping the oven, but I was too hungry. Besides, ants are protein-rich, right? So I left the ants in the oven and went to see what was on TV. By the time I came back a few minutes later, I had forgotten about the ants. Imagine my surprise when I saw little black dots running around as I opened the oven door. Oh my god, they're alive! Holy crap! And they're now crawling all over my food. Crap.

As I flicked the ants off my plate, I couldn't help but wonder how they survived the microwave oven. Don't microwave ovens cook stuff by causing water molecules to vibrate and heat up? I'm pretty sure that insects contain lots of water. So why the hell weren't the ants fried and crispy?

Well, they'll probably all get cancer soon, but for now, they're alive. Scary. And what if they don't get cancer? What if the microwave radiation gave them super powers instead and eventually turns them into super evil mutant ants that will take over the world? Scary!

Then the mad scientist in me started wondering if larger animals can also survive microwave cooking. Maybe I should do an experiment with a kitten or a puppy. Will it survive like the ants did? Or will it turn into an exploding ball of fur? Hmm... time to schedule a trip to the local animal shelter.