Hotdogging through 2006!

As the Year of the Firedog starts today, we would like to do the "in" thing and make astrological forcasts for the year.

The Dog

While this may be the year of the dog, I suspect the dogs might not be the luckiest animals at least in the Philippines. The year of the fire dog will be the bane for the dog community. Fire brings to mind barbecues and grills; and dogs, well, stray dogs... supplies which we have in great numbers here. To avoid a fiery confrontation, go home early, don't stray, and avoid getting drunk as you may just end up as the next pulutan¹. Oh, as added precaution, always try to get your friend the Pig to go out with you.

The Pig

Pigs are said to be the secret friends of Dogs. I suggest you maintain that secret lest you end up in the same predicament as them. You are in enough muck as it is. This year would be good for business... just think along the lines of hotdogs.

The Rat

The Rat is not exactly on top of the foodchain this year. They can however swing it both ways. If they play their cards right, and Gloria retains her seat this year, they might just have tons to rat about. On the other hand, they might just end up being ratted out on. It's a lonely existence for the Rat.

The Ox

The Ox, a close relative of the Tamarraw (FX), might just eek out a small living this year if the oil prices remains stable and Bayani² doesn't wreck half the roads with those pink fences.

The Tiger

One of the luckier signs this year. This is a promising year for the tigers as they can anticipate a prosperous and love-filled year. Smart enough to stay away from the Philippines.

The Rabbit

The fate of the Rabbit remains the essentially the same this year. They don't seem to care about their finances, but their love lives might even become more prolific with the fire dog heating them up. Hump it up energizer bunnies!

The Dragon

This magnificent creature is the enemy of the dog. No need to look at the stars to know who's going to win this battle. The poor bastard won't know what hit him. He's on fire! Hehe. Needless to say, the dragon won't ever be lucky. See, by some stroke of bad luck, they don't exist.

The Snake

What can I say? Snakes have been blamed for a lot of things since time immemorial, and yet they remain. I suspect the dragon is a myth fabricated by these bellycrawlers. It won't be a good year for you, but don't worry--you'll survive.

The Horse

Unless you can revive the Chariots of Fire, the horse is dead. No luck here. Sorry. Not after what you did to Superman. Go graze off a cliff or something. You're not wanted, not even your meat.

The Goat

The goat seems to have reinvented itself last year with the inclusion of goat milk in virtually all of our skin essentials--soap, lotions, footscrubs, etc. It might continue its luck this year if it doesn't end up getting roasted.

The Monkey

Wow! The Monkey have long escaped its fate by Monkeying around. Not this year though. Having discovered that the Monkey's brain is brain food, the Fire Dog will provide variety to this new dish.

The Chicken

: And the chicken will take over the Monkey's monkeying around from monkey central, chickenmafia.com. And no, doggiemafia will just have to watch their ugly rear-end.

Kiong Hee Huat Tsai to everybody! Have a great year ahead with us here at Chicken Mafia!

¹Beerchow. Though banned in the Philippines, roast dog continues to be a delicacy enjoyed with beer.
²Bayani Fernando, Metro Manila Development Authority(MMDA) Chairman--department in-charge of traffic control in Manila.