Hell is a drive-through window

It was way past lunch time when I headed home from a seminar earlier today. I was very hungry, so I decided to make a pit stop at a Jollibee drive-through window.

I was craving for fried chicken, but I needed something that I can eat while driving, so I chose the Champ burger and fries meal.

I was very pleased with myself for making a good decision (I'm very easy to please), and I was ready to grab my burger and go. But the annoyingly cheerful woman at the drive-through window wasn't going to let me off the hook so easily.

"Sir, do you want to upsize your fries?"

"No, thanks." Come on, stop stalling. I'm hungry.

"Do you want to upsize your drinks?"

"No." No, no, no, no, no!

"Do you want a peach mango pie for dessert?"

I wanted to respond with something like "if I wanted pie, I would have gone to a pie shop" or "just give me my burger and shut your pie hole." But I had a fleeting vision of all the Jollibee employees taking turns spitting on my burger, so I bit my lip and just shook my head.

Thankfully, that was her last question. I paid for the food, and she asked me to proceed to window 3. I obediently went on to window 3, too hungry to think about what the hell window 2 is for.

At that window, a guy handed me my fries. I could almost hear my stomach cheering: yay, food! Then he handed me my Coke. I carelessly jammed the plastic cup into the cupholder, spilling a bit of cold liquid on my lap in the process. Damn it! This happens every time!

The guy then told me that the burger wasn't ready yet, and I would have to park and wait "for a while." Wonderful. The drive-through had just become the drive-through-and-park-and-wait-a-very-long-time.

The french fries were gone within two minutes, and there was still no sign of my burger. Maybe I really should have upsized my fries. Mental note to self: next time, just upsize the freaking fries. I flipped through the radio stations, and was soon rewarded with the Eagles mocking me: "when we're hungry, love will keep us alive." Haha, very funny. I turned the radio off and slumped against the seat.

Finally, a guy knocked--actually, more like pounded--on my passenger-side window. God knows why he chose the passenger side... there was nobody there for heaven's sake. I frowned, opened the window, and reached over to grab the burger. For some reason, the guy was grumpy. Hmm, maybe I took one second too long to open the window. Anyway, he shoved the burger at me and left without saying a word. Whoa! This bee ain't jolly! I hope he didn't add any "personal special ingredients" to my burger.

Still, spit or no spit, the burger tasted great.