Buddha jumps over the wall
I woke up late this morning too lazy to go out and eat. When I opened my cupboard, this is the only food I had left:
Hmm... Buddha Jump Over the Wall?
Buddha Jumps Over The Wall is an expensive Chinese stew containing meats and other stuff so delicious that even Buddha would jump over the wall to steal a taste. Buddha was of course a vegetarian.
I bought this canned Buddha Jump Over The Wall (the Chinese aren't particularly good at subject-verb agreement) around 8 months ago curious to find out what it tastes like. It didn't matter to me that this is a vegetarian version as I had been addicted to some really good veggie meat at one point in my past. I have seen the dish on a couple of restaurant menus (meni?) and was unfortunately too much of a cheapskate to try one. An order of the real thing could set you back around $40. This canned one costs around $1.
As I was heating it up, I realized something. If this is a vegetarian version, shouldn't they have called it Buddha Stayed Within The Walls? Talk about irony. I was even thinking how dumb the manufacturers were to miss that.
But after tasting it, I saw the logic behind the name. Buddha sure would need to jump over the wall to escape eating this one! Yuck.
How bad was it?
Did it taste like veggies? Tell us!
And oh, "veggie meat" is an oxymoron.
It didnt taste like veggies
It tasted mostly of funky bamboo shoots (which was the main ingredient). This was bad funky. There's another type of preserved bamboo shoots with chili oil in jars which tastes funky but in a good way.
Other ingredients I can recall were a couple of sliced carrots, golden mushrooms, flowery seaweedy black stuff, a small piece of yam, and of course veggie meat (which i think is properly called gluten)
Sounds disgusting
But aren't bamboo shoots veggies too? :-P
Was the thing made in China? The funky taste was probably caused by formaldehyde, hehe.
Since "menu" is a French word, ...
... it, thankfully, is inflected normally :-)
Anyway, was it very yucky?
__________
Run to the bedroom
In the suitcase on your left
You'll find my favourite axe!!!
What?
No Wikipedia link? :-P
Nope
I can give this if you feel traumatized by my post lacking a link though :-)
__________
Run to the bedroom
In the suitcase on your left
You'll find my favourite axe!!!
Heh
Just couldn't resist handing out useless trivia huh :-P
Useless???
Menus are very important in the grand scheme of things! They allow you to choose which delicious meal to turn into poop!
__________
Run to the bedroom
In the suitcase on your left
You'll find my favourite axe!!!
Oh yeah,
poop is important. Yay for menus then.
...says the guy...
...with kitchen utensils. That's what you should have said in the very first place :-|
__________
Run to the bedroom
In the suitcase on your left
You'll find my favourite axe!!!
The Chinese
aren't good at subject-verb agreement? How come you are good at it? AHA! Unpatriotic! Where's your red book?
Well, unless they are using the word Buddha like the imperial/royal WE, the name makes sense. =P
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How do you know
that Chinesemafia is Chinese? Hehehe.
Isn't he?
Is he just masquerading as one? =P
www.AWBHoldings.com
I never said he isn't
But I guess you can never know for sure :-P
As they say
To see is to believe. =P
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Even if you see him,
how would you know that he's Chinese and not Korean or Japanese? All East Asians look alike, remember?
Yeah
I've been mistaken as Korean a couple of times and once as Japanese. Does East Asia include Middle East Asia? =P
WHAT?
You were mistaken for an Iranian, too?
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LOL
That cracked me up
Where do your gonads want to go today?
It wasn't not a joke
All Chinese people carry Little Red Books all the time.
It is like a driver's license
You are not allowed to exist if you don't have one. You are not allowed to walk around if you don't have it with yah.
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Soon, with modern technology,
every Chinese will have the Little Red Book implanted in his arm like an RFID chip. Yay for 六六六!
have you seen the Zeitgeist movie?
RFID chips are the wave of the future. Think about it, soon everyone will be barcoded.
I don't need no freaking barcode!
They should put barcodes on prostitutes though. Useful.
Oh come on
Bar codes are cool and sexy! All chicks would go for you!
__________
Run to the bedroom
In the suitcase on your left
You'll find my favourite axe!!!
Nah
A barcode would only look sexy on Jessica Alba's neck.
Mafia Tip
Put RFIDs on all gang members. That way, you can easily catch a wayward gang member.
Yeah, no place to hide, rats. =P
www.AWBHoldings.com
RFIDs are useless for tracking
I should implant cell phones into all of them.
It was not a joke?
Huh you really carry red books? Is there something I'm missing here?
Wait, you're Chinese!
Where's your Little Red Book? Traitor!
What?
I don't get it. Enlighten me.
It contains the wise words of Chairman Mao
Always carry it around!
And the blank link
is supposed to stress on the lameness of it...
Oh, sorry
There :-P Fixed it.
Ahhh
I remember the little red book now...albeit vague. You see we once had something called the green book I think but of course they weren't like those red books. They were more like erm...plans...outlines...on improving economy or something. Look, I can't get facts or words out of my head. Leave me alone! Stop making me think! I hate you!
Hmm
So it's green book vs. red book now huh. Pick a side! :-P
What happened to...
Blue book, yellow book, cyan book and magenta book? :-/
__________
Run to the bedroom
In the suitcase on your left
You'll find my favourite axe!!!
Enough about colored books
I hate books. Burn the books!
Hmmm...
So you're suggesting that Chinese people should carry red CDs around with them instead? Or should that be red iPods with an audiobook of Mao's sayings?
__________
Run to the bedroom
In the suitcase on your left
You'll find my favourite axe!!!
Red iPods huh
Hmm... shouldn't all iPods be red? Apples are red. Stupid Apple.
Apples
can be green too. Or brown if they're rotten. So which is it? Pick one!
Damn it!
Too many choices :-(
Veggie
Suppose it is not called Buddha Jumps Over The Wall if it is all veggie inside....
Suppose to be like Mini Buddha Jumps Over the Fence or something....
The real BJOTW (too long already the name), would have all kinds of meat..... All kinds.... =p...
On other note, there is this delicacy that is quite lost to the world....partly because the main ingredient nearly extinct? What delicacy you ask?
THE BEAR'S PAW Dish..... muahahahahahahahahahaha...
p/s: Kids, don't go chasing bear now...... =p
Intriguing
I want to try bear paw. Panda paw sounds good too. Endangered species are tasty.
!!!
!!!!!
Don't worry,
we're just gonna eat the paws. It's not like we're planning to kill off endangered species or something :-D
And don't forget...
AmmuNation endangered species barbecue each Saturday!!!
__________
Run to the bedroom
In the suitcase on your left
You'll find my favourite axe!!!
Yay for
random GTA references. I miss that game.
Yeah....
Yep, gonna just the paw and me...Me and the paw....doesn't involve any extinct species..... Just the paw... A paw affair... lol..
Anyway, any vegetarian girls wanna convert me???? =p
Come....
We go on a date or something.... I am sure I can think of something that will work out between us... =p
Hmm
Vegetable dishes are usually cheaper than meat dishes, so you probably wouldn't have to spend too much if you take a vegetarian girl on a date, hehe.
My aunt buys that for the family near christmas
I've eaten the real thing and it wasn't that bad :-P
It wasn't that bad
because it wasn't a cheap vegetarian knockoff. So the lesson of the story is: stay away from anything that has "vegetarian" on the label >:)
Stone Carvings at Peak Flying from Afar
Seeing this post reminded me of a recent trip in Hangzhou, China. There's a sign saying "Stone Carvings at Peak Flying from Afar"
http://www.kotsengkuba.com/?p=94
It this is spamming, please do remove this post. :P
Hehe
I can't figure out what that means. Yay for alien stone carvings?
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