Remember the Nintendo Family Computer? It was so much fun, especially when you had to redo a stage thirty times because there's no way to save your game.

One of my favorite Famicom games is Punch-Out!! And since I'm a wannabe casting director, here's my take on what the cast should look like if they ever make a Punch-Out!! movie.

Doc Louis and Little Mac = Stanley from The Office and David Archuleta

You may think that Archuleta is too girly to be believable as a boxing star, but a boxing movie with homesexual undertones could mean critical acclaim.

Glass Joe = Owen Wilson

Same nose.

Von Kaiser = Borat

Same mustache.

Piston Honda = Bolo Yeung

I’m sure you saw this one coming. Guess what? Bolo is 70 years old right now. No kidding.

Don Flamenco = Manu Ginobili

He looks like Adam Sandler too, but getting Manu would be a lot cheaper.

King Hippo = a white gorilla

We've got to have an animal in the cast. Kids like movies with animals.

Great Tiger = Apu and Hobbes

I patted myself on the back with this one.

Soda Popinski = Stone Cold

Although I think Stone Cold usually drinks something stronger than soda pop.

Bald Bull = Charles Barkley

Because they're both bald.

Mr. Sandman = Cedric the Entertainer

I think Cedric pulls off the fighting pose well enough.

Mr. Macho Man = some actor named Sam Elliot

Underneath that grizzled and wrinkled exterior is a grizzled and wrinkled body.

Mike Tyson = 50 Cent

Coincidentally, Mike Tyson's bank account has about 50 cents left in it.

The G.I. Joe Movie is coming out next year, and as a fan of the old TV series, I'm very excited. But I'm not sure I like some of the casting choices. If were in charge, the cast would look something like this:

(in alphabetical order)

Barbecue

Casting Darth Vader would really be a coup de force for the 80s.

Bazooka

It's a toss-up between Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck.

Destro

A slam dunk. They even have the same build.

Dr. Mindbender

The Monopoly guy just has to practice looking a bit nastier.

Duke

They can use the movie as a springboard for a MacGyver movie.

Monkeywrench

Kenny Rogers just has to grow his beard back more then it's a cinch.

Quick Kick

I don't know the big kung fu guy's name, but the casting staff can ask Van Damme (if they can find him).

Roadblock

I think I’m getting the hang of this.

Serpentor

If you've ever played Rockman 3, you'll agree with this.

Sgt. Slaughter

I'm not sure who copied whom.

Shipwreck

Second guy from the left. In the Navy....

Spirit

I'm not racist. I just go with similar looks. =)

Xamot

Sorry, couldn't Photoshop Sharon from the picture.

It has been close to two years since my last blog entry here at the Chicken Mafia. For years, Joyfulchicken has been pestering me to blog, noting that I was one of the founding members of the Mafia. He has even resorted to alluding to my superior, though underutilized, intellect, which he says can be of great boon to blogging. (Ahh yes... the exaggerations and lies of one joyful chicken.)

He did manage to drag me to last Saturday's iBlog4. The event was, um, exciting, especially the back-to-back-to-back discussions on elections and blogging--I got so pumped up that I had to go outside and pace around just to contain my boredom enthusiasm. But I have decided to blog again. I believe the potential is within myself to become an excellent blogger. I just have to believe. (Ahh yes... the exaggerations and lies I tell myself.)

The dilemma that I always had is what to blog about: should I blog about what I like or what readers would like? Hmm... would what I ate for breakfast make a buzz-worthy entry? Hmm... I really had a difficult time choosing between muffin and rice for my Big Breakfast. Hmm....

I want to be an excellent blogger. That means more research and thinking and less "stream of consciousness" BS. Blogging might not be as easy for me as it is for other people, but it is the journey that counts. (Ahh yes... keep telling myself clichés and hope everything turns out right.)

So yes, I have returned. I hope I will stay around longer this time.

P.S. To cater to the male readership segment, I will occasionally post carefully selected female pictures for beauty appreciation at the end of my blog entries. I am still evaluating the female readership segment and would consider posting scantily clad men. But just to be clear... no, I'm not gay.

Wanting to cash in on the success of Brokeback Mountain, producers are exploring similarly themed movies.

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*Picture taken (out of context) from http://funny-dog.com.

Hirumi lives out her life-long fantasy of sucking a phallic lollipop while riding an overgrown penis in public.

I've been observing that different people from all walks of life, age and gender can participate in and enjoy a single topic. Everyone can relate to this topic. It is of course sex. It is the ultimate icebreaker and penultimate conversation centerpiece.

Everyone knows about it. Most people have done it, though some would claim they haven't or claim they have had more than their fair share.

I'm sure you agree with me. Remember the last time you had a raucous laugh with your friends? 4 out 5 times, it's related to sex.

So the next time you're people and the atmosphere is getting dull, throw in some talk about penises and vaginas (vaginum?) and see the situation go off the roof.

Once upon a time, there was a prince who, despite his stature and riches, was unhappy. He was unhappy because he neither understood nor felt the true meaning of love. He consulted with the king's court of advisors, but no one could help him. The prince was engulfed with gloom.

An old woman who has been a life-long servant for the imperial court approached the prince. The servant told the prince about a rare flower on a mountain peak at the edge of the kingdom. The dew of the flower is a love potion, and anyone who drinks the dew would know the secrets of true love.

The prince hastily trekked toward the mountain peak. There standing alone in the vast emptiness of the mountain was a single flower with indescribable colors. He carefully transferred the dew to his palm, so as not to break the flower. He was elated now that he had the love potion on the palm of his hand.

He slowly sipped the love potion, and almost spat it out immediately. It was both bitter and putrid. It was like thorns going down his throat. He was half-convinced to spit it out, but he decided to gulp it all down.

The prince didn't feel anything different except for the rumbling in his stomach. He journeyed back to his palace, but still, nothing changed. He was still ignorant about the meaning of true love. The old servant told him that it was a test of the determination and courage of the drinker. She advised the prince to travel to the mountain peak and drink the love potion again, promising that the determination and courage of the prince would be rewarded with what he seeks.

The prince, with mixed enthusiasm and wariness, traveled back to the mountain peak. The flower stood there as beautiful as he left it. He put the dew on his hand and placed it near his mouth. The bitterness of the love potion haunted him, but he was determined to go through with it. He sipped the love potion. It was surprisingly sweet. It tasted like fresh honey that was meant only for the queen bee. He quickly drank the remaining love potion, relishing the heavenly taste.

Right at that moment, he felt a deluge of emotions. Everything seemed more beautiful. He was overjoyed. Tears slowly flowed from his eyes. He knew the meaning of true love. But love wasn't the only thing he learned. He also realized that...

The love potion is sweeter the second time around.

Mensa is an organization whose members engage in social activities and worthy causes. It is not much different from any other social organization, except for its requirement for membership: a person can only become a member if his/her IQ is in the 98th percentile or top 2% of the population. Yes, the foundation Mensa was built upon was on the basis of gathering the gifted people and geniuses of the world.

Why the name Mensa? No, it wasn't named after the founder. There was no Dr. Hugo Van Mensa or Emperor Mensarius. Mensa is Latin for "table", a round table perhaps, symbolizing equality among its members.

I didn't want to research on how Mensa came about, so I just made up a story.

Mensa was probably thought of by Masons during the 19th century. They were probably drinking lavish wine around a table and were plotting ways to further distinguish themselves from the masses. A short, stout guy with a tall hat and a moustache suddenly bursts out an idea of having intelligence as a basis. Everyone agreed that, in addition to wealth, intelligence should be a barometer. Because IQ hasn't been researched yet, they coined the term QI (Quantitative Inquisitiveness) for measuring one's intelligence.

An old man with a pipe sticking out of his mouth suggested that they call this organization "Round Table", because they were sitting around one at that moment. They all agreed, but opted for its foreign translation, so that they wouldn't be mistaken for the "Knights of the Round Table". They looked it up and it turned out that the Latin word for round is "wo", and the word for table is "mensa". Being the male chauvinists that they were, they decided to drop the word "round".

And that is how Mensa was formed.

I dreamed that I am in school and about to take an important exam. As soon as my pen touch the paper, I realize that I haven't studied nor can I remember the answers to the questions. The anxiety and tension of the situation seemed so real that I felt I was in high school again.

I have had these dreams on a number of occasions during college. Fortunately, as time passed by, I don't dream of it as much anymore. Even so, I still found it weird that I had such dreams, so I asked a few of my high school classmates about it. I found out that I was not alone. Some of them had similar dreams.

Knowing that there were people with the same experience that I have, I felt a burden was removed from me. I wrote this so that other people who have had such dreams can let go of this burden and move on. I call on you fellow nerds to let go of your scarred high school existence and live in the present.

A senator in the Philippines is proposing a bill that will regulate the posting of billboards in the metropolis. From what I recall from the news, these are some of the rules:
- No billboards within 25 feet of the street
- No billboards in viewing distance from major roads and highways (having at least 4 lanes)
- No billboards on government-owned property (eg. lamp posts, traffic lights, etc.)
- No billboards within 1000 feet of schools, churches, hospitals, parks, government buildings, etc.

I for one do not like having to turn my head which any way and be bombarded with billboards; I already have commercials to contend with. However, I think the prohibitions are too strict, especially the last one.

If you are able to find a location that is void of the mentioned structures within 1000 feet, is it really worth putting a billboard there? Would there be anyone to see it? Does this location even exists?

Maybe there is such a location in the farmlands on the outskirts of the metropolis, where carabaos roam. If and when somebody decides to put up a billboard in that forsaken location, the question is: if it gets blown down by a strong gust of wind, would it make a sound?