Blame Canada for global warming

Anyone who has watched Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth knows for a fact that global warming is threatening to destroy our planet. But do you know that the Canadian government is secretly trying to ENCOURAGE MORE GLOBAL WARMING?

Canada is a huge country (second largest in the world in terms of land area) with a robust economy and great social programs. It would be an utopia if not for one big problem: it's FREAKING COLD. Most of Canada is covered in deep snow all year round, which explains their national average temperature of -20°C. So it's clear that while global warming would be disastrous for the rest of us, it would actually be ADVANTAGEOUS TO CANADIANS!!!

(Imagine how nice Vancouver would be if it has Florida weather. And there would be no more Florida--it would be underwater thanks to rising sea levels caused by global warming! Al Gore said so.)

Investigations by the Global Climate Research Institute (GCRI) have revealed that the Canadian government is secretly and wastefully burning 22.5 MILLION BARRELS of oil PER DAY (that's more than what China AND India consume in a day) in an attempt to accelerate global warming. And they're succeeding! Latest scientific studies show that, at the rate it's going, most coastal areas will be underwater by the year 2020!

Is there anything we can do to stop the Canadian global warming conspiracy? Of course! Sign the online petition against Canadian global warming at http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/stopcanada and forward this message to all your friends and family members. Doing so will only take a few minutes of your time, but ignoring this can mean a lifetime of underwater suffering for future generations. So let's all spread the word and do our best to save the planet. ACT NOW!!!

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If you're now convinced that big evil Canada must be stopped from destroying our planet, here's what I want you to do: slap yourself in the face, check the date of this post, and slap yourself in the face again. It's April Fools', you fool! And no matter what day it is, you shouldn't believe everything you read on the Internet.

Now here's what I really want you to do: help me spread the hoax. Yay! Fun! Here's how to do it:

1. Download the attached text file.
2. Open it and copy the text to your favorite email program.
3. Put "Fwd: Stop Global Warming!" in the subject line.
4. Send it to your friends, especially the annoying ones who keep forwarding you useless medical tips and urban legends.
5. Laugh like an evil maniac. (Optional)

If some of your recipients express doubt and ask questions, don't lie. Just admit that it's a hoax and send them to this page. There are probably enough people who would forward it without thinking anyway.

So go do it. Go! ACT NOW!!!

P.S. Don't forget to sign the petition. ACT NOW!!!