3 strikes and you're out cold
While channel surfing a few nights ago, I came across this story about a fake plastic surgeon who performed surgery without anesthesia. Surgery without anesthesia? God, that sounds painful. Imagine someone slowly sticking a knife into your guts while you're fully awake... *shudder*
Last night, a solution to that horrible scenario came to me in a dream. When I woke up, I decided to make a rough sketch of the system and share it with everyone.
Let me explain how it works. The patient sits on an electric wheelchair that goes around a rail track. A robot whacks the back of the patient's head with a baseball bat as the wheelchair passes by. This is repeated until the patient is unconscious, at which point the doctor can step in and perform the surgery.
It's all so simple, no? Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?
You rich bastards in first world countries may prefer expensive anesthetic drugs, but this technology can save millions of lives in third world countries where people don't have money to buy those stupid stuff.
What? What do you mean by "where do they find the money to buy the robots"? Shut up! I can't be expected to solve all the world's problems in one day, can I?
Electric wheelchair
I thought it was a modified electric chair like the one used for execution. Why a real electric wheelchair would solve your robot problem! Just hook up the electric source onto the tracks (like how electric trains work). Then adjust the current just enough for the patient to pass out. Heck! You can even get the electricity for free! Filipinos are experts when it comes to illegal connections.
Hmm maybe I should also sketch my dreams... Good idea!
That would work
But isn't hitting people with a baseball bat much more fun? Heh.
More fun--yeah
But I think it would be difficult laying down for surgery with the lumps at the back of their head.
hmmm...
To cut costs, I suppose the doctor... or one of us unemployed Physical Therapists could whack the patient instead... it would be good exercise too :)
Yeah
And while you're at it, you can throw away the wheelchair too... the end results will be the same. But then, it will just be a doctor hitting a patient with a baseball bat. Still funny, but not as entertainingly absurd as what I saw in my dream, hehehe.
Nah
We need the wheelchair to create an air of "common medical practice"
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